THE PAPERBACK IS PUBLISHED.
I SHALL BE SENDING OUT COPIES TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ORDERED ONE OVER THE NEXT THREE DAYS EITHER FROM CREATESPACE (US) OR AMAZON (UK).
Thank you for your patience. Love you all...(he says in prime Ozzy front-of-stage fashion).
This is a quick message for those of you who are down to receive a paperback book of The Night Porter from Green Wizard.
Fear not. You will receive a copy of that there is no doubt. The sun is in the sky, it's in the budget, the last time I looked the missiles aren't flying over the Crimea, and Createspace will take anyone's money, including my own.
And I genuinely want people to read this in paperback. I wrote it that way.
There is a problem, though.
I can't give you an estimate of when you will receive your paperback because of many, many issues, almost all to do with how long it takes Createspace (who are owned by Amazon, but who are NOT Amazon), to deliver the paperback books.
It's astonishing and frustrating.
If anyone else has had a similar experience, please contact me and we can start a support group.
I like Internet support groups.
I don't like real life support groups as church basements are usually damp, (which gets on my chest), cold, (which affects my feet), smelly, (which reminds me of that time I got trapped in a fishmonger's fridge overnight), and I don't drink tea with milk in it.
And I'm not very good at giving strange blokes hugs. It brings me out in a rash.
We could set up a Twitter list and have a jolly good moan.
Createspace Gave Me An Ulcer.
Or segemau, pronounced phonetically.
Publishing e-books is fine. We had that up and running in the time it takes to run an Open 380 metres at Crayford dogs but paperbacks?
If The Night Porter does as well as I think it will, I may well use a separate publisher for the paperback version of my next book. I have been told of one in Devon.
The next process will be done completely differently. I have met people lately who concentrate on e-books. I can see why.
My next project, the revamped, rewritten Ritual Mini-Series, is e-book only. At 140,000 words, god knows how long it would take the Createspace Mule to deliver that had I republished it in novel format.
It would have probably tipped over.
23 of you have opted for the paperback. Thank you. You will probably receive it in mid-April.
Hopefully, I can keep you interested for that long and, in the unlikely event of you sitting cross-legged on your hall carpet waiting for a brown package to slap comfortingly on the doormat, I can only apologise.
In the meantime, here's a nice photo of two cuddly parrots.